I was born and raised in a devout Catholic family. I can clearly remember my first communion, first confession, doing catechism (Catholic Sunday school) and being very proud of it all.

We moved to Summerside when I was 10 and I became an altar server (helps the priest with different tasks) and I took that job seriously. Then I joined the choir, I went to youth group, I even considered myself friends with the priests. Early teens hit and I started rebelling. I didn’t want to go to church. I only went for the music. I didn’t get anything out of it! I didn’t want to go to youth group and I absolutely did not want to go to confession. I remember having arguments with my dad that left me in tears because I couldn’t understand why I had to go. Eventually I ended up running the choir and teaching catechism but lying to my dad about going to confession. I did all the retreats and had the big emotional reactions they wanted but I remember hating being called religious. I would firmly say “I’m not religious, I have faith.”

I intended to try out different churches when I moved out because I just didn’t agree with the teachings. Then I met Alan. As our relationship grew, I was introduced to the Christians. Everyone seemed so calm and settled and happy. Pam would ask me to go to meeting and I would say no because I was Catholic.

Eventually I gave in and went to one Gospel meeting. David Herlihy & Brody Thibodeau spoke. I don’t remember anything they said but after I asked Brody “Is purgatory real or is it Catholic made up garbage?”. His answer was simple: “it’s not in the Bible. You go to Heaven or Hell. There is no in between.” (Purgatory is a place Catholics believe you go to “pay” for the sins you didn’t confess before you died. Once paid then God decides where you go. I was more afraid of purgatory than Hell).

I believe that week they started up meetings for me at the Springfield hall. Allison would pick me up and take me each night. Allison asked me lots of questions after meeting. I understood I was a sinner and I deserved Hell and that’s where I was going. Allison recited John 3:16 to me but inserted my name. “For God so loved Leanna that he gave his only Son. So if Leanna believed on him she will not perish but have everlasting life.” It was the next verse that spoke more to me. “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved.” I was stuck in the mindset of “I deserve Hell” and “why would God bother saving a sinner like me?” The Catholic Church was so intense and negative. I felt condemned all the time but the Bible was saying Jesus came for the exact opposite reason!

December 7, 2015: The second Monday of the meetings I drove myself. I sat beside Angela and spent a good portion of the beginning of the meeting searching for a song: 213 Was it for Me?

Gospel Hymn Book 213: Was it for Me

Was it for me, for me alone,
The Saviour left His glorious throne,
The dazzling splendours of the sky,
Was it for me He came to die?

(Chorus)
It was for me, yes, all for me;
O, love of God so great, so free;
O, wondrous love, I’ll shout and sing,
He died for me, my Lord, the King.

Was it for me sweet angel strains
Came floating o’er Judea’s plains,
That starlight night so long ago?
Was it for me God planned it so?

Was it for me He wept and prayed,
When prostrate in the garden laid,
That night within Gethsemane?
Was it for me, that agony?

Was it for me He bowed His head
Upon the cross, and freely shed
His precious blood – that crimson tide?
Was it for me the Saviour died?

I couldn’t comprehend why God would send his Son for me? I’m not worth that sacrifice! I was afraid that someone else would come into my life and tell me that this wasn’t the way to heaven either and I’d have to start over again. Catholicism wasn’t the way, what if the Gospel Hall wasn’t either?

After meeting that night I got in my car and headed towards O’Leary. I understood everything. I am a sinner. I deserve Hell. God sent his Son so I wouldn’t have to go to Hell. I just had to let go of my fear and trust. I took a deep breath, squeezed my eyes shut (while driving) and said “I trust you!”. I let out that breath and all of my sin was washed away. I opened my eyes. Laughed. Cried. And rejoiced. I was saved! I of course had doubts immediately. What really confirmed it was the next night at meeting.

I looked at the chart and instead of focusing on Hell, my eyes immediately went to Heaven and I thought “I get to go there!”. I could hardly contain my singing and my smile. I told Allison on Thursday driving her home from meeting. I was afraid to tell Alan but he said he was happy! Looking back, I realize he encouraged me to go each night. He wasn’t saved at that time but he understood that I needed to be.

The following 10 months were a rollercoaster but Alan got saved just in time. I knew in my gut I would marry a saved man and I did.

John 3:16-17 KJV
[16] For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
[17] For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.